A Mom’s 12 Days of Christmas

A Mom’s 12 Days of Christmas

12 Days of ChristmasOn the first day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
A tree that needs redecorating

On the second day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the third day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Three puking kids
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the fourth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Four unannounced guests with strong cable news preferences
Three puking kids
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the fifth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Forced Family Fun
Four opinionated guests
Oh boy, it’s norovirus
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the sixth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Six sugar crashes
Forced Family Fun
Can we not talk politics in front of the children?
Three feverish kids
Two flooded rooms
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the seventh day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Seven missing Amazon packages
Six sugar rushes
The line is HOW LONG for the City Park train?!?!
Four opinionated guests
So much extra laundry
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the eighth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Eight temper tantrums
Seven missing Amazon packages
Six sugar crashes
Forced Family Fun
Four opinionated guests
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SCHOOL IS CLOSED FOR COLD WEATHER?!?!
Two stopped up toilets
And a tree that needs redecorating


On the ninth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Nine days forgetting the elf
Eight temper tantrums
Seven missing Amazon packages
No, you can’t have candy canes for breakfast
Forced Family Fun
Four opinionated guests
There goes all my vacation time
Two broken appliances
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the tenth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Ten unaddressed Christmas cards
Forgot the elf again
Eight temper tantrums
Still checking the friggin’ tracking
Six sugar comas
Failed family photos
Four opinionated guests
Snot all on the couch
Two leaky pipes
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Eleven teacher gifts
Ten unmailed Christmas cards
Sh*t, we forgot the elf again
Eight temper tantrums
Seven missing Amazon packages
Six sugar crashes
Forced Family Fun
That’s enough, Uncle Stanley
Someone pass the Zofran
Dog poop tracked through the house
And a tree that needs redecorating

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the mom life gave to me
Twelve parent-involved classroom activities
Eleven teacher gifts
Ten forgotten Christmas cards
The elf is lazy, kiddos
Eight temper tantrums
Seven squished Amazon packages
Six sugar crashes
Forced Family Fun
Peace out until next Christmas!
Three overtired kids
Two insurance claims
And a tree that needs redecorating

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