I Don’t Need Your Approval, I Need A Friend

I was just minding my business, and you sat by me. A typical day at the park with my boys watching them sliding, and throwing dirt … typical boy stuff. 

Thinking to myself: “Have I found a new mom friend?”

You so kindly asked me my name and if those two little boys were mine. You asked all the common questions during a day in the park 

“How old they? Are they brothers? Who’s the older one?” And then came the one questions that turns the conversation completely around,

 “Are you married?” Me: Yes

“What does your husband do for a living?” Me: “My wife is a Director at one of the local schools.”

Wait for it! Wait for it.

The silence spoke volumes … back to square one.

In that moment of silence I could hear the screeching of my children sliding down a dry slide giving them booty burns.

Then YOU spoke with way too much confidence, “Oh, thats fine I know lots of gay people and thats okay.” And on and on and on and on about this gay person and that gay person you know.

“Please stop, I do NOT need your approval.”

Enough already! I don’t need your approval. I need a friend who understands this thing called “motherhood.”

Can we just get back to discussing our children because I’m really trying to make you my mom friend? Can we talk about children and being moms and our boys and how tough and rough boys are? 

A Message to You

Let’s talk about life and school, and let’s talk about where you like to get your nails done if that’s your thing. Let’s talk about the best place to get ice cream. How about we talk about places you like taking your babies? And let’s not focus on me being gay, and you thinking I need your approval through your gay encounters. 

Did you think there was nothing else we have in common?

I am a mom; you’re a mom.

I am married; you’re married. 

I have children; you have children.

We both sacrifice ourselves for our kids while we are sitting here in the hot beaming sun, only this mom doesn’t need a tan. 

It would have been great to schedule future playdates, but you got side tracked with “my wife” and your stories as if I needed your approval

To ALL Moms

You don’t need anyone’s approval to be YOU and do YOU. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be a  mom, to be tall, to be short, to be in shape, to drive your 1994 Toyota, to be a helicopter mom, to have tattoos … because we all have 1 million trillion other things we’d rather do than to worry if we have others’ approval. 

What are the other million trillion other things that you would rather do than worry about someone else’s approval? 







6 Responses to I Don’t Need Your Approval, I Need A Friend

  1. T T September 7, 2017 at 5:44 pm #

    Amazing story!!!! Inspiration and clarity at its best! Thank you for sharing!

    • Nette September 14, 2017 at 1:14 pm #

      Thank you very much.

  2. Caitlin September 7, 2017 at 7:22 pm #

    Well said! It sucks when people make an issue out of something that isn’t one. I don’t want to be tolerated, I want to be treated normally. Great post! I’m glad you wrote it!

    • Nette September 14, 2017 at 1:15 pm #

      I so appreciate you reading, commenting, and supporting.

  3. Tinka Crowe September 8, 2017 at 7:37 am #

    Fan-Fucking-tastic read. That’s the struggle for me. I need a friend not an Approval system. When all the ancillary items are stripped away the common factor that remains is that we are moms.

  4. Nette September 14, 2017 at 1:16 pm #

    We already feel isolated. Let’s just be friends with the most important label as “MOMS!”

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