The Worst Parenting Rights of Passage {and the Totally Ridiculous Ways to Avoid Them}

You may co-sleep or sleep train, you may feed your baby with formula or breastfeed, you may home school or enroll your child in daycare starting at 6 weeks. But there are certain parenting moments that unite us all, moments that’s transcend mommy wars and amalgamate us in this parenting experience. But the good news is it is possible to avoid the worst of these. Below is my easy guide to ensuring you bypass the least favorable of these parenting rights of passage.

Poop in the bathtub

When I became a parent 6 years ago, I figured there would be poop. I even accepted there would be lots of it and occasionally it would be messy. I had no idea there would be SO MUCH pooping in the tub. So to avoid this catastrophe that ends in you fishing out the pesky excrement and cleaning the bathtub, all the tub toys, the kid (or kids, oh yes it happens in group baths as well) again, all you need to do is avoid bathing the kids until they are about 4 or 5 years old. Another option is limit baths to about 45 seconds; this does not guarantee the same results as forgoing baths all together but it’s still another possibility.

Finding an old cup or bottle of milk

You look under the furniture, the backseat of the car, the bottom of the toy bin and there it is, the sippy cup you didn’t realize was missing. It’s not the cup you put water in, it’s the milk cup. It’s been a few weeks and there are chunks. You don’t even bother trying to wash it. You hold your nose and run straight for the trash can. To avoid this disaster, it will take some initial investment upfront but will be worth it in the end. You will need to buy and install homing devices on all cups. This way you can easily track them and avoid any lost surprises later.

Carrying on a full conversation with a toddler while you’re on the toilet

Going to the bathroom in peace is a rarity with small children around. Something about a mom needing to potty makes everyone need something and become especially chatty. I have another easy hack to avoid this situation. All you need to do is tip toe into the bathroom and instead of sitting all the way down, hover. If they don’t hear your cheeks hit the seat, it won’t trigger anything in them to come immediately running into the restroom to tell you all the things.

You’re out, the baby poops, you have no diapers and/or wipes

You think you’ll just be running one quick errand so you decide to just grab your wallet and go. Or you’re out with the diaper bag that you forgot to restock. The baby will inevitably poop. To avoid this tragedy will take some initial planning. First make a list of any place you could possibly ever go, EVER. Then go around to all of those places and hide a few diapers and wipes somewhere where no one else will see them but you can grab and use in a pinch.

Who says parenting has to be hard? You just need to work smart, not hard. What are some other parenting rights of passage and how do you avoid them?

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

5 × 4 =