Let’s Talk about the Ugly Moments

So we all have stories about the time the kid threw up in the car, or had an accident in the store and it’s the one time you didn’t pack an extra set of clothes, or the mornings you’re running late and someone spills their milk everywhere, poop in the bathtub, or the public mega tantrum. Those moments are absolutely hard and stressful. They make you dig down deep and power through like the mom boss that you are.

But the ugly moments are something different. They’re the moments you don’t want on your highlight reel. The ones you hope your children won’t be able to recall later. The ones you’re sure the neighbors heard. The ones where your child does something otherwise not so terrible but you lose control.

The action that caused your reaction was likely just a drop in the bucket. But it was a drop in your already already too full bucket. It was a drop too far and now the floodgates have opened.

You are not the only one this happens to. You are not alone in your shame and guilt. I’ve had too many conversations where a friend confides in me how awful she behaved and wonders how bad she’s screwing up her kids.

I can’t imagine there’s a mom out there who hasn’t at some point reflected on the day after everyone is in bed and feels badly for something she’s done.

I’m not even going to say you’re trying your best so don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes your best just isn’t an option. You are an imperfect human; you ugly momentscan’t possibly operate at your best level at all times. You are going to fall below your standard at times.

We accept that our kids are going to screw up now and again. We even plan for it sometimes. Well we are going to screw up too. Not just you, every mom there is, every mom there ever was and every mom that ever will be.

Yes, you messed up. You screamed louder or more than you should have. Welcome to the club. You love your kids and they know it. Now give yourself some grace, vow to do better next time, and love yourself as much as your love those kids. Most importantly remember, you are not alone.

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