Sober in Nola :: Tips for Mamas

Being sober in New Orleans is tough

Like, really tough. Everywhere I turn there is a drive through daiquiri shop or “Big A$$ Beers To Go” signs or people walking the streets with giant green grenade drinks. The cafe’s offer shots of Baileys or Rum to add to your coffee. The people in my life are very respectful of my decision not to drink and try to accommodate me when at all possible, but the truth of the matter is alcohol is a part of the culture here. I am extraordinarily grateful that I can compartmentalize it most of the time, but sometimes (like during Mardi Gras) it gets to me. In this city, there’s always a reason to celebrate. The question is, how do I join in the festivities without drinking or wanting to drink? Last month marked my 4th year sober, and though the temptation is always there, I’d like to share some ways I’ve learned to minimize the struggle.

Share your decision not to drink, but don’t lecture

There are those that want to hear my story. Then there are those who tip their glass and say “more for me.” I try to differentiate between the two and be mindful of how I share my decision. In sharing my choice – more is less – until they ask.

Bring your own drinks when going out

mocktailsThis may sound ridiculous, but having a backpack full of Stumptown Cold Brew and Diet Coke is what keeps me from feeling left out on many festival days. Having my favorite drinks on hand while those around me are drinking theirs, makes me happy.

Become a mocktail master

Friends are less likely to be disappointed in an alcohol-free gathering at your home if you have yummy mocktails on hand. There are so many great recipes on the internet that mimic even the fanciest of cocktails. I’ve discovered that many bartenders have a handful of amazing mocktails up their sleeves when you are ordering out – just ask! Mocktails are another great way to keep from feeling left out when everyone around you has umbrella drinks.

Make your expectations clear with friends and family

I have some guidelines in my house about alcohol. If you are invited to a party at my place, you will soon learn that we have a BYOB and a TYLB rule – bring your own and take your leftovers home. We have come quite a way from the no-alcohol allowed rules of past-days. In becoming more confident and comfortable with my sobriety, I have found I can loosen the reign a bit now and again.

Stay within your comfort zone

I try to stay out of situations where I am surrounded by copious amounts of alcohol and where absolutely everyone is drinking. I don’t like being the only sober one in my group when going out for a rare night out-on-the-town. When I’m with my husband or even a girlfriend who gave up alcohol for lent, I can be in the middle of a drunken crowd and be totally fine. I have found that now I am okay at dinner with girlfriends where everyone but me has a glass of wine or two. My comfort level changes as I advance through this alcohol-free journey, but I’m pretty happy with where it’s taking me.

Are you a sober mama?  Share your tips in the comments!

4 Responses to Sober in Nola :: Tips for Mamas

  1. Robin May 4, 2016 at 10:10 pm #

    Congratulations Tara! Wow, 4 yrs is really something to celebrate and be proud of. Kudos to you! Keep up the good work!

  2. Nilong Vyas May 5, 2016 at 7:24 am #

    Congratulations!

  3. Kaye May 5, 2016 at 8:42 am #

    What an amazing accomplishment! As a child of a recovering alcoholic I know firsthand how much being sober can change your life, and your friendless & family’s lives, for the better, but also how exceptionally hard it is to be sober, especially in NOLA. I am so proud of my parent, and Without knowing you, I’m proud of you, because it is a major achievement.

  4. Tara May 6, 2016 at 9:34 am #

    Thank you ladies. I get some sideways glances when I say I don’t drink and even more when people realize it was a decision to help me avoid potentially having problems stemming from alcohol in the future. Someone recently said it was similar to having a mascoctomy when you find you have the gene for breast cancer. Though extreme, I thought it was a great perspective.

    I hope this post helps people know they don’t have to already have a problem with alcohol to decide to become sober! ❤️

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